Been a While

Hey all..

I have been some what absent from the blogging in the last little while. I do apologize.

Things are going well. I haven't been working out as much as I should, and I'm sure it will show when I do my weigh in. I was down another 2lbs but that was at my home scales not the scales at Vickie's. That's a total of 17.8lbs. I am very proud.

With that being said, I really am struggling with all the Easter chocolate and eggs lying around. I won't lie, this hasn't been the best week of eating or self control. I even indulged in a bag of chips. I did feel guilty right after eating the bag(I did share with others). I find it interesting at the guilt. I honestly feel terrible after eating "junk" like that. WHY do I do that?? I CRAVE all night to the point where I can't get my mind off of those RED, amazing tasting chips. Then after I eat them, I feel completely yucky and bloated and know that I really can't complain, since I knew it wasn't the best thing for me. Ketchup Chips are my weakness. Just a few posts ago I even said "I CAN'T eat them again- It's an addiction.. It really is. The only person to blame is me. I really want to make everyone proud, I want to eat healthy, I want to run a 5K. I have these ambitions, and I won't give up on them. I just fall into old habits, really really quickly. I know this sounds negative and it's not. It's just me processing this incredibly FUN, yet difficult journey.

Okay- I will tell you where my little bump on the road started (This is not a Poor me moment, this is me being completely honest). A year ago I made a goal to run the 5K next week-end in Frankville with a very close friend of mine. I have worked on this running thing, and I do enjoy it very much. However, with so much sickness in my home since Christmas, there has been a MAJOR decrease in training and I tried a run last week and came to the realization that I'm only doing about 2.5Km's(if that) and I am not at the point where I can continue. I am NOT ready for a 5KM run next week, and I guess I'm disappointed in myself. That being said, I wouldn't call this a Failure, because who would have thought that I'd ever beable to run as much as I am a year ago??? Not I!!! Therefore, it's not a fail, it's a "I'm not ready". I am so proud of my girlfriend as she is going to do this Run next week-end. I wish I was joining her, but I am at the point where I know that I'm just not ready. And I know that THAT is okay.

I still have a goal to do a 5K I just have to figure out that once I"m ready. I am ready :)

I hope this isn't too depressing. It's not meant to be. I'm still journey on this weight loss/healthy eating. People ARE starting to notice, which isn't why I'm doing it, but MAN does it feel great to hear "Wow you're looking great?" or "ARe you losing weight" YES YES I am Thank you for noticing.

Anyhoo. I will be in touch to let you know how I'm doing.

Love you all

Heidi