Humble Pie

My husband surprised me tonight with a birthday party. He had sent out invitations last Sunday, before my birthday. How do I feel?? Embarrassed, silly, humble and blessed.

What have I learned about myself this week?? That I can be totally honest, and even "selfish" but yet I have friends that don't look different at me and Love me for who I am.

Larry had me so convinced that I'd be having a nice evening with a couple tonight, that I was so confused when people started arriving after they had. My jaw dropped and I told Larry he was "bad". LOL But inside I was excited and still a little "shameful" about my horrible attitude on Monday.

I just want to thank Larry for his sneaky ways. I want to thank EVERYONE for making me feel special. Tonight is a night that I will not forget.

This is a short little note to say that I am eating some humble pie tonight. :)

Life is great!

Heidi

I learned something today. Not an uplifting blog but a deep in thought blog

O.k before I start the brutally honest blog. This isn't to make anyone feel bad. This blog is about something I learned about myself yesterday that I am almost ashamed of, but need to put it out there. I am sure I'm not the only person that struggles with this.

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. I don't know what I had expected, I know that birthdays are just another day, but for some reason I was thinking that THIS one was going to be a very SPECIAL day, that everyone in this World (o.k not the whole world) would celebrate MY 30th birthday. How narcissistic is THAT!! I honestly don't know what I wanted, but I felt WAY too emotional yesterday to understand what was going on with me.

As I reflect on my feelings of yesterday I realize how selfish I can be. I wanted a party, with all my friends, food, cake, cards, all that jazz. However, my birthday was on Thanksgiving and everyone was busy with their families.(which they should be doing) How old am I?? I'm not a child anymore, why did I want this???

I did have my family here for the week-end, they celebrated with me, spoiled me with a basket of groceries (love that) and my sister gave me a wonderful Joyce Meyers book that I'm looking forward to reading. My friends also had us over for lunch and made me a YUMMY chocolate birthday cake. I had over 100 Facebook birthday wishes. But why wasn't that enough??? What is my problem? Why did I want a party so bad? We are trying to teach Mikayla to not be greedy, and here I am struggling with greediness and selfishness too!

I have heard through the grapevine that some of my friends and family think that I like to be the center of attention, maybe that is it? I never thought I was like that, until yesterday. I wanted a silly party to Celebrate Me, that almost makes me sick to my stomach to think that I am like that. Then my question is WHY do I crave attention? I don't want to be like that at all. I just want to live for Jesus', be unselfish, help others, and do God's will. With that being said, "Why do I struggle with selfishness?" I have a dislike for this "weakness" of mine.

Larry knew that something was bothering me yesterday. When he'd ask all I could say was "It must be PMS". (Too much information, I apologize) I didn't want him to feel bad about the way I was feeling. It wasn't his fault, this was something that I had to deal with. He is so great though, because he kept at me, until I confessed what I was struggling with.

It's really funny, because on Sunday Larry preached about "baggage" we all may have. I am biased, but I think it was one of his BEST sermons yet. One of the baggage was "EGO". That we need to bring this to the CROSS, and ask Jesus' to help take this away. He will put it "under that cross". Is this my baggage? Do I think I DESERVE everything?? I have decided that I need to bring my self worth, and my selfishness to the cross, leave it there and walk away.

Do I want a party? Not really, especially now, since I just laid everything out on the table. Messy isn't it? It just saddens me that after knowing what Jesus has done for me, the most UNSELFISH thing a man could do, that I still struggle with ME ME ME.

I am so thankful for my family, for Larry and the kiddo's. Having them with me all day yesterday was such a gift. The best gift in the World! I really did have a wonderful day, a great 30th birthday. A highlight was playing Mario Kart with Bennet. I looked at him and said "You're going down" He looked at me and said "NO I AM NOT" and then he kicked my butt in the race. Hugged me and said "you went down, but I Love you Mommy". What a treasure, what a life that I have. God has blessed me with so much. I am truly thankful and wouldn't want it any other way.

I am learning so much about myself and am thankful that I can sense the "garbage" that goes on within me. I am sharing this today to say. "We can have those selfish moments, but don't let them control who you are"

Party or not- I am loved, I am blessed and am thankful for my life.

Heidi

Another Year.. I will begin again

Hello All. Hope you are all doing well. Today is a day that I have been dreading for the last 5 years. Today I turn 30. I should be excited because it means I'm getting older. The thought that I'm not a 20's something has me a little sad. I know, it's not all that bad. Many people have told me that 30's are fantastic. With that being said, I will not dread today, but enjoy it and take one day at a time.

Today is also Thanksgiving. Tons to be thankful for. My wonderful family, 3 beautiful babies, and shelter to cover our heads. I am Thankful to be a Canadian, and would not want to live anywhere else. I am Thankful for our church family, thankful for our friends, thankful for what our Lord has done for us.

During Thanksgiving there is Lots of yummy food and dessert. I will tell you that I ate everything and enjoyed it too. I'm still off the wagon. BUT I have an incentive from an a person that shall remain nameless. For every pound I lose she/he will give me a $1.00. Since I have decided to stay at home with Preston I am thinking this could be a great way for me to make some money and get healthy. I agreed to the challenge.
Then if I hit my goal of 175lbs (for now) she/he will give me a substantial cash prize. I couldn't say NO. PLUS.. you my readers have encouraged me to continue.

Today is my birthday and the start of this journey YET AGAIN!!

My health is so important to me that I MUST continue. I want to be a good example to my babies and the girls that we work with.

Thanks again for your support. You should be seeing a few more of this entries as the weeks progress

Thought of the day- Age means nothing. Live life every day with passion and excitement

To the wonderful women who taught me what serving is all about

We moved into our new little Green and white house with our baby girl Mikayla, about to embark on our first place of ministry. Excited, eager, nervous and very frightened. We didn't know very many people in our new little community, but we received an invitation for dinner to the Mulders. Koop, Janny & Henrietta welcoming us to the community with a wonderful dinner. Janny making us feel so wonderful. We were beyond content and excited about our new beginnings.

Watching Janny serve our church was a lesson learned, without her even noticing. That Basement kitchen was hers and everyone knew it. She served in MANY of the ministries, and her legacy was also serving. Watching the Love she had for her grand babies was an amazing moment in my life. She was so proud of them. She loved them and taught me that Family really is important.

Jesus was her life. She never once back down from that!

Watching her daughters share the last few weeks over facebook has been a challenge but a blessing too. With that being said, Janny wanting a picture of her "en suite" from the hospital showed me that there is a Peace in Janny that only Jesus' can give.

I am picturing Janny dancing and breathing LONG Deep life giving breaths with our Lord. She was a faithful servant and I know that God was proud.

Thank you Janny for teaching me what's really important in life. You may have just been You, but to me you were a teacher a friend an adoptive "Oma". We feel honored and blessed to have had you in our lives. You have left a legacy that I someday hope that I will leave to.

It's not good bye today. It is I will see you again

Heidi

My weight issues are NOTHING compared to other things

Life is but a mist. All my worrying about if I'm 50lbs lighter is nothing compared to what my dear friend is going through today. Yes I want to be healthy, and I'm going to be. Yes in my journey I will lose the weight needed, I WILL.

However Life is here one day and gone the next. Is this fretting and frustration really worth it all? I don't think so.

My girlfriend became a widow and a single mother today, and I am just heartbroken for her. He was one of those guys that you just couldn't forget, I remember when they started dating. I can't believe he's gone. They were just beginning their lives together. I don't get it.. I don't understand. What I am thankful for is that I have a God in times like this. I don't know how anyone can handle such tragedy without. I know that God will be with her and take care of her. I know that she knows who God is. I just have no answers as to WHY and it leaves me to think and ponder on what is really important.

Jesus... Family...Everything else comes after.

God you know pain.. Give a peace that passes all understanding..

Thank you for being there always

Be blessed

Heidi

A little business on my Blog.. But I really want to make everyone aware

I am writing this note to everyone one I know to announce something I’m really excited about… a new Fall and Winter season is about to begin with The Pampered Chef… and I just can’t wait to share all the new products and recipes with you.

I’m sure most of you are familiar with The Pampered Chef….but if you are not check out their website (and products) at www.pamperedchef.biz/heidikozlof The products are fantastic…..and the shows are so much fun….!

My business grows by word of mouth… and I have been having so much fun at my shows… I can’t wait to offer you the opportunity to share an awesome evening of food and fun with your friends!! I would like to introduce you to all that is new this fall, and there are three ways that you can be a part of my business this fall….

1. Having some friends over for a fun, hands on cooking show: I would feel so comfortable doing a cooking show with you….….and I’d love to treat you to some great free product and massive discounts. Having a show is super easy and fun….and you get tons of great rewards for hosting. I can explain more how it works when we chat.

OR if you have no interest in that……you could…

2. ATTEND a very special VIP EVENT: I’ll be organizing a few fall launch parties very soon…..and I would love it if you came and just saw what I was doing…….Bringing a friend would be a great help too. We will have some drinks….make a great recipe together so you can see the tools in action and eat…..(and shop too if you like)

OR if you have no interest in that…..you could….

3. Place an order anytime or just tell people you know that your friend is a Pampered Chef consultant (in case they are interested in hosting/attending etc). Word of mouth is so helpful…..I could give you a catalogue to just share with people.

OR I can’t help but wonder if you might like to earn some extra income this fall and have a debt-free Christmas?
4. I have really loved my new business with The Pampered Chef and am so impressed by all that this business can offer… more income… more fun… more social time… all on your own flexible schedule. I have met so many people who are all so different - and who all do Pampered Chef for different reasons. If you would be curious to learn more about what I am doing, I would love to share more information with you to see if it might be something that would fit in your life, or not.

I will be giving you a call soon to chat about this and find out what your interest level is…… NO pressure REALLY…..I just wanted to make sure I informed EVERYONE I know about all the awesome new things happening with my Pampered Chef business this fall …and I wanted to give everyone the opportunity to participate in one way or another……..

Back sliding party

Okay.. You probably have all guessed, I haven't been really on the bandwagon with the "healthy eating" and get my butt moving.

I've come to the conclusion I absolutely despise physical activity. I know this sounds so lazy, and it probably is. The fact that Preston isn't sleeping very well, has made me very tired and no desire to get up and walk. I wish I had the desire to walk everyday or work out on the WII or even doing my work out videos. I can "blame" it on lack of sleep, but lets be realistic, I haven't got myself in the situation I'm in JUST because I'm sleepy. NO.. I've hated excersize for years and I LOVE fatty foods

Where do I start?? How do I overcome this lack of desire?? How do I change my lifestyle that I OH so Love?? Where do I begin?

These are questions that I'm going to have to figure out in the next few months. Does this mean I give up?? Absolutely not. My family is so important to me. I want to be around for a very long time. I want to see all 3 babies grow up to be grown ups. I want to see them get married and have babies of their own. I want to be called Grandma. I want to spoil their babies like my Mom spoils them. I want all of this, so because of this, I MUST change the way I'm living.

Will you continue on this journey with me??

I've gained 5lbs back from what I've lost. Holidays and back sliding is to blame (or myself is to blame).

Thanks for taking the time to support me. I really appreciate you all.

I am excited to announce that I am NOT going back to work in November. Very excited about this and nervous too. Not having the second income will be a challenge I'm sure.

Larry and I have started really working on our photography. We by no means are like his sister, who is amazing and if you live in Chatham, really need to check her out and get your pictures done through BJ & Melanie. However we really do enjoy taking "family shots" and "nature" pictures. I hope someday to be able to start up a little "family" business on the side of doing ministry.


Anyways, I'll keep you all informed with my progress. I have decided that I'm a terrible blogger, even though I enjoy blogging.. So funny!!

Be blessed everyone. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Love
Heidi