Couldn't think of a good title today, so thought I'd make you decide how to finish it.
My week has been a pretty good week. Still really struggling with food choices. We had a great day at the beach. By habit, I took chips. I haven't ate chips in almost 6 weeks and I once I started to eat them, the whole "3 bite rule" went out the window. However, I'm here today admitting that I may have ate plenty of Ketchup chips for the next year, but I'm Going to get this healthy thing up to par.
I've done my walking and have enjoyed eating salads. I LOVE salad to the core. However, I'm not seeing the results I'd like to, and in all honesty am feeling a little frustrated. I know that what I put into my mouth is probably the key reason I'm not losing as "fast" as I'd like. Therefore, starting right now... I WILL do my best and do it 100%.
I got a great email message today from a friend that I haven't seen in years. She sent me an encouraging e-mail to remind me that God is my security. I think by now, you probably have all figured out that I am a little "insecure" with my body. I too believe that I'm insecure with plain old ME! My friend has been reading a book by Beth Moore. She told me she's learned TONS from it. I must search for this book and read it myself. One thing that my friend said she learned from Beth Moore was " Insecurity will hold us back from fulfilling the call God has on our lives. He will not force "security" on us and no one else can give it to us. Insecurity is not a weakness...it is a form of unbelief." Boy did that "kick me in the pants" in a good way. Did I not just say that I was struggling with "the call" God has for me?? I do believe that my weight loss journey is not just for weight loss but also for me becoming a secure women of God. He does have a call for me, and I want to be secure enough in me and him, to do his will.
God is my life. Some of you that are reading this may know this or not. My life is for him. My husband and I live each day wanting to do God's will. We've been through up's and down's. We've moved a distance from family feeling "called" to Smiths Falls. I just want to live for him. I also want to see others "live" for him. Some people ask me "Why do you believe in a God that you don't even see". I say this. "I do see God. I see him in the beauty of our Earth, I see him in my children, I see him in my life and I can feel him when I sing" Who would have thought that a "Girl" from Ayton would be working in different communities, teaching and sharing the Love of God. My life proves to me that Yes there is a God. I'm not about debating or arguing until I'm blue in the face about God, that's not me. I don't feel intellectual enough to do so either.. I just want to show God's Love. It's that simple to me. I wish it was for others. I also believe because the day my Grandfather passed, he called my "name", his last words were "Heidi, Heidi, Heidi" and the REASON he called my name is because he had accepted Jesus on his deathbed, and I told him I was jealous that he was going to see my best friend. I told him to call my name when he saw him. HE DID!! not just once but 3 times. I can never ever forget that moment in my life. This story of my Grandfather is a much LONGER one, that I'd love to share with any of you. Maybe I'll blog it some other day.
I guess what I'm saying today is. I will not give up on this journey. I also believe that there is a purpose for me, and I am going to live it out with Confidence, joy and perseverance.
Thanks so much for reading this and encouraging me. I have fallen in love with Blogging. I feel like this is a great way for me to "express" what's really happening in me. I find that I can express myself much better in writing. It's such a pleasure. Until next time.
Be blessed
Heidi
Thought of the day.
John 4:19
In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the satisfaction for our sins"
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Hot, Hot hot
Hello World.
It's hot outside and my little man is completely beside himself. I wish I could make things better for him, but all I can do is comfort him and show him that I love him.
Then I noticed that I myself am extremely irritable too. I don't understand how we can HATE winter and HATE the heat. This just doesn't make sense to me. God gave us Canadians the 4 seasons. However, I am starting to think we just have Winter and Summer.
With the heat, it is hard to go walking too. I am at this point "out of shape" and find this heat takes my breath away. Good thing I'm not on the "Biggest Loser" show or they'd be "HOLLERING" at me.
I was back down 2lbs so I was very content with that. I am drinking plenty b/c I noticed that my legs were swollen with fluid today. This happens to me when it's hot. More water is needed.
My friend Barb is sending me a "Care package" in the mail that I'm totally excited about. Barb has called it "you are Beautiful Care package". This is for my inner beauty as well as somethings to pamper me by. HOW COOL IS THAT!!!! I can't wait and feel completely blessed! God knows when his children need a "boost" and he used Barb to do this in my life. Thank you Barb. I totally appreciate you!!!
Everyone reading this. Whatever journey you are on. Don't give up. I wont either. I just wish that Ice cream wasn't so good and COLD!! :)
Thanks for reading
THought of the Day
"Matthew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
It's hot outside and my little man is completely beside himself. I wish I could make things better for him, but all I can do is comfort him and show him that I love him.
Then I noticed that I myself am extremely irritable too. I don't understand how we can HATE winter and HATE the heat. This just doesn't make sense to me. God gave us Canadians the 4 seasons. However, I am starting to think we just have Winter and Summer.
With the heat, it is hard to go walking too. I am at this point "out of shape" and find this heat takes my breath away. Good thing I'm not on the "Biggest Loser" show or they'd be "HOLLERING" at me.
I was back down 2lbs so I was very content with that. I am drinking plenty b/c I noticed that my legs were swollen with fluid today. This happens to me when it's hot. More water is needed.
My friend Barb is sending me a "Care package" in the mail that I'm totally excited about. Barb has called it "you are Beautiful Care package". This is for my inner beauty as well as somethings to pamper me by. HOW COOL IS THAT!!!! I can't wait and feel completely blessed! God knows when his children need a "boost" and he used Barb to do this in my life. Thank you Barb. I totally appreciate you!!!
Everyone reading this. Whatever journey you are on. Don't give up. I wont either. I just wish that Ice cream wasn't so good and COLD!! :)
Thanks for reading
THought of the Day
"Matthew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
Monday, May 24, 2010
Great Week-end for my God life.. Bad week-end for my body life
Hello World.
It's been a while, therefore you are probably guessing that I haven't been doing so well on this journey. I will get back to this in a moment. I want to share about my week-end and what's on my mind
I went away this week-end to a "youth" conference. It's funny that they are geared towards teenagers, yet I learned soooo much this week-end for myself. I LOVE worship. I feel closet when I'm singing my heart out to God. Some say I have a gift, I say "I just do it for him". I do feel though, that if it is a gift, that I haven't been walking in it for years. I feel that my call to be a mother is my most important "call" at this point. However, if I was completely honest, I struggle with the fact that I'm not taking part in worship the way my mind has a picture of it. I got the privilege of listening and worshiping with a TALENTED, gifted, anointed women of God, "Amanda Falk", WOW God is using her in such amazing ways. Her music is incredible and you can sense the spirit God all around her. I told Larry that I was almost envious, which is a total SIN that I have struggled with my entire life. Not envious of her voice, but envious of the fact that she's doing what I would LOVE to do with my life. Getting travel to sing and bring others into the presence of God. That is a dream of mine. Maybe someday that will be me, but I don't know how to even begin. I would LOVE to make a CD, I would LOVE to write more music. I would love to be asked to sing at conferences and lead others in worship. However, this feeling of "It may be too late" started to seep into my mind. Is that truth or a lie?? I'm not sure. A verse that's going into my mind is "I know the plans I have you for" Therefore I will trust, I will move forward, and see what God has in store. I just know that this desire to do what "Amanda Falk" does, feels impossible when my first call is to be a "MOTHER" of 3 beauties. This is my inner struggle that I've just totally opened myself up to Everyone that is reading this. I will see what will become of my music and my future. God knows and I will have to trust him. I want to make sure that my desire to do this is not of selfishness, but of pure thoughts and mind. I just love God and want my music to inspire others to listen and worship him with everything they've got.
Okay so now that I've shared that. On to my weight journey. It's not been horrible, however after a week-end away of eating out and not really being active. I weighed myself this morning and was horrified that I gained 4lbs. It will come off and I'm not worried about it. Just sad that I haven't been as determined as I was a month ago. Saying this, I am committed to getting back on track. I am committed to getting healthy, so that I may bless my God. I feel like taking care of the body he gave me, is a way to worship and thank him for allowing me on this planet.
I hung out with some teenagers that are absolutely beautiful, yet they don't see it. My heart ached for them. I want to be an example and Love my body, love my outer beauty. However I am having major self confidence issues. I honestly feel attacked by the enemy. When I eat, I feel like others are watching in disgust. How sad is that. I feel sometimes like a hypocrite. Telling my teenagers, that they need to Love themselves inside and out. Yet I can't seem to do it myself. Practicing what you preach is honestly a very HARD thing to do.
I know this post is a little "downer" but this is a great way for me to "release" what's inside. Being a Pastor's wife, I sometimes think I keep a lot inside. Which is sooooo wrong. We are just as human as anyone else. We have our ups and our downs.
I am confident that I'm going to hit my goals. I am confident that I'm going to get healthy. I am confident that God is going to use me in such a "HUGE" way that I can't even imagine. I just want to be a vessel for God's will. I just want to see my friends who don't know Jesus' learn to know him and have relationship with him. Jesus' changed me and I am forever thankful.
I hope that you are all doing well in your walks and journey. Keep going and don't give up. I won't if you won't!
We are heading out this afternoon for a family "hike" and Picnic. I'm looking forward to this "family" time. Thanks for reading my blog. You all inspire me to do better.
Thought of the day "Stop complaining, get off your donkey and do something about it". (that came from my husband.. I just LOVE him)
Be blessed
Heidi
It's been a while, therefore you are probably guessing that I haven't been doing so well on this journey. I will get back to this in a moment. I want to share about my week-end and what's on my mind
I went away this week-end to a "youth" conference. It's funny that they are geared towards teenagers, yet I learned soooo much this week-end for myself. I LOVE worship. I feel closet when I'm singing my heart out to God. Some say I have a gift, I say "I just do it for him". I do feel though, that if it is a gift, that I haven't been walking in it for years. I feel that my call to be a mother is my most important "call" at this point. However, if I was completely honest, I struggle with the fact that I'm not taking part in worship the way my mind has a picture of it. I got the privilege of listening and worshiping with a TALENTED, gifted, anointed women of God, "Amanda Falk", WOW God is using her in such amazing ways. Her music is incredible and you can sense the spirit God all around her. I told Larry that I was almost envious, which is a total SIN that I have struggled with my entire life. Not envious of her voice, but envious of the fact that she's doing what I would LOVE to do with my life. Getting travel to sing and bring others into the presence of God. That is a dream of mine. Maybe someday that will be me, but I don't know how to even begin. I would LOVE to make a CD, I would LOVE to write more music. I would love to be asked to sing at conferences and lead others in worship. However, this feeling of "It may be too late" started to seep into my mind. Is that truth or a lie?? I'm not sure. A verse that's going into my mind is "I know the plans I have you for" Therefore I will trust, I will move forward, and see what God has in store. I just know that this desire to do what "Amanda Falk" does, feels impossible when my first call is to be a "MOTHER" of 3 beauties. This is my inner struggle that I've just totally opened myself up to Everyone that is reading this. I will see what will become of my music and my future. God knows and I will have to trust him. I want to make sure that my desire to do this is not of selfishness, but of pure thoughts and mind. I just love God and want my music to inspire others to listen and worship him with everything they've got.
Okay so now that I've shared that. On to my weight journey. It's not been horrible, however after a week-end away of eating out and not really being active. I weighed myself this morning and was horrified that I gained 4lbs. It will come off and I'm not worried about it. Just sad that I haven't been as determined as I was a month ago. Saying this, I am committed to getting back on track. I am committed to getting healthy, so that I may bless my God. I feel like taking care of the body he gave me, is a way to worship and thank him for allowing me on this planet.
I hung out with some teenagers that are absolutely beautiful, yet they don't see it. My heart ached for them. I want to be an example and Love my body, love my outer beauty. However I am having major self confidence issues. I honestly feel attacked by the enemy. When I eat, I feel like others are watching in disgust. How sad is that. I feel sometimes like a hypocrite. Telling my teenagers, that they need to Love themselves inside and out. Yet I can't seem to do it myself. Practicing what you preach is honestly a very HARD thing to do.
I know this post is a little "downer" but this is a great way for me to "release" what's inside. Being a Pastor's wife, I sometimes think I keep a lot inside. Which is sooooo wrong. We are just as human as anyone else. We have our ups and our downs.
I am confident that I'm going to hit my goals. I am confident that I'm going to get healthy. I am confident that God is going to use me in such a "HUGE" way that I can't even imagine. I just want to be a vessel for God's will. I just want to see my friends who don't know Jesus' learn to know him and have relationship with him. Jesus' changed me and I am forever thankful.
I hope that you are all doing well in your walks and journey. Keep going and don't give up. I won't if you won't!
We are heading out this afternoon for a family "hike" and Picnic. I'm looking forward to this "family" time. Thanks for reading my blog. You all inspire me to do better.
Thought of the day "Stop complaining, get off your donkey and do something about it". (that came from my husband.. I just LOVE him)
Be blessed
Heidi
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I will NOT Give up!
Hello World..
It's been a few days, but I've been doing okay. Ice cream is my weakness, I must admit. However, I was down another .2lbs I'm at 229, which makes me very happy, out of the 30's. I do admit I haven't been very active this week. Must get my butt in gear!
I am walking tomorrow with my walking buddy. I'm hoping for no rain, good weather. I absolutely LOVE walking. I'm sure it will perk my spirits. I've been having a few "sad" days. Not sure why? Probably "lack of sleep". Our car also has to be "fixed", which means that our "flooring" will not be happening until another time. I was REALLY looking forward to laminate flooring in our living room/hall way. However, things happen and I must move on from my disappointment. Life doesn't always work out the way I want it to. Argh to that.
This week-end we are heading to Oshawa with 11 teenagers and 2 other leaders, to a Youth convention. It will be a blast and I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for them. A majority of our teens have NEVER been to something like this before, so it will be interesting. I'm a little nervous since Preston will be joining us. I'm really hoping he'll be in good spirits while we're away. I'm hoping you'll all pray for our group and for Preston, Larry and myself. I just LOVE watching God work. Here's hoping for a great time!!!
For those of you who are on this journey with me. Keep going.. I will too.
Thought of the day is "Go to my last post and see Alanna's comment"
thanks World..
Kozlofhenhoff (why do I use this name, you all know it's me)
It's been a few days, but I've been doing okay. Ice cream is my weakness, I must admit. However, I was down another .2lbs I'm at 229, which makes me very happy, out of the 30's. I do admit I haven't been very active this week. Must get my butt in gear!
I am walking tomorrow with my walking buddy. I'm hoping for no rain, good weather. I absolutely LOVE walking. I'm sure it will perk my spirits. I've been having a few "sad" days. Not sure why? Probably "lack of sleep". Our car also has to be "fixed", which means that our "flooring" will not be happening until another time. I was REALLY looking forward to laminate flooring in our living room/hall way. However, things happen and I must move on from my disappointment. Life doesn't always work out the way I want it to. Argh to that.
This week-end we are heading to Oshawa with 11 teenagers and 2 other leaders, to a Youth convention. It will be a blast and I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for them. A majority of our teens have NEVER been to something like this before, so it will be interesting. I'm a little nervous since Preston will be joining us. I'm really hoping he'll be in good spirits while we're away. I'm hoping you'll all pray for our group and for Preston, Larry and myself. I just LOVE watching God work. Here's hoping for a great time!!!
For those of you who are on this journey with me. Keep going.. I will too.
Thought of the day is "Go to my last post and see Alanna's comment"
thanks World..
Kozlofhenhoff (why do I use this name, you all know it's me)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Motivation needed
Hello World,
I have to admit that this week, hasn't been a great week of eating. I need to come back to the basics of veggies/Fruit. We went to Ottawa yesterday, and I was proud. I had a "Salad" at subway. Much better choice then fast food. However, I haven't had the chance to "walk" or do steps, so I'm feeling a little "frumpy" this morning.
Mikayla is still not 100% yet, so it's made life a little stressful. She's very sore and whiny. I don't blame her though, I too would be the same if I had a sore neck. Such a tender spot. She's such a Gem, even though she's feeling "yucky" she's still in her room SINGING her heart out. What a girl!!!!
I think I'm having writers block, because I honestly don't have much to write about today. I'll keep you informed with how things are.
Signing off
Kozlofhenhoff
I have to admit that this week, hasn't been a great week of eating. I need to come back to the basics of veggies/Fruit. We went to Ottawa yesterday, and I was proud. I had a "Salad" at subway. Much better choice then fast food. However, I haven't had the chance to "walk" or do steps, so I'm feeling a little "frumpy" this morning.
Mikayla is still not 100% yet, so it's made life a little stressful. She's very sore and whiny. I don't blame her though, I too would be the same if I had a sore neck. Such a tender spot. She's such a Gem, even though she's feeling "yucky" she's still in her room SINGING her heart out. What a girl!!!!
I think I'm having writers block, because I honestly don't have much to write about today. I'll keep you informed with how things are.
Signing off
Kozlofhenhoff
Friday, May 14, 2010
Not Proud but will continue on
Hello All.
My Journey has hit it's first and hopefully last "binge". It started on Wednesday, when I was waiting to hear about Mikayla and her ER Visit. I was starting to feel a little stressed and went to the food cupboard. I think I found whatever I could and put it in my mouth. :( I ate a lot on Wednesday and haven't weighed myself since. I'm not "giving up" on this journey, I just had a BAD day.
Yesterday I went for an hour walk and it felt great. Great to walk with a friend, chat about life and move forward. I did go to Pizza Hut with this friend afterwards for lunch. I tried to eat a LOT of salad and a few pieces of pizza. Probably not the most healthy thing to do, but the fellowship was much needed and loved.
Today I am going to have to take some time and do some "steps" because I won't have any time to walk or do any exercise for the rest of the week.
The battle of the buldge is a lot harder then I think I first thought. However, it took 8 years to put this on. It's going to take some time.
Signing off for now.
Thought of the day "patience is a virtue"
Kozlofhenhoff
My Journey has hit it's first and hopefully last "binge". It started on Wednesday, when I was waiting to hear about Mikayla and her ER Visit. I was starting to feel a little stressed and went to the food cupboard. I think I found whatever I could and put it in my mouth. :( I ate a lot on Wednesday and haven't weighed myself since. I'm not "giving up" on this journey, I just had a BAD day.
Yesterday I went for an hour walk and it felt great. Great to walk with a friend, chat about life and move forward. I did go to Pizza Hut with this friend afterwards for lunch. I tried to eat a LOT of salad and a few pieces of pizza. Probably not the most healthy thing to do, but the fellowship was much needed and loved.
Today I am going to have to take some time and do some "steps" because I won't have any time to walk or do any exercise for the rest of the week.
The battle of the buldge is a lot harder then I think I first thought. However, it took 8 years to put this on. It's going to take some time.
Signing off for now.
Thought of the day "patience is a virtue"
Kozlofhenhoff
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I need to Practice what I preach
My journey is going well. I'm down another .2 (which is nothing but still its down) I'm eating less and moving more. I'm very excited about my process. I'm loving the feeling of success, but know that I will have my days of "toughness" (is that a word?)
I'm still not feeling very well and Larry's cold is a lot worse then mine. I gave him a hard time last night. I find that whenever I'm sick, he's worse off. Therefore, I can't complain ;)
The other day I talked about "worry" and how it's silly to worry. However this morning Mikayla woke up and showed us something on the back of her neck that woke her up. I called the Dr to see what we should do. They suggested bringing her in to the ER. I'm sure it's just a little infection, but it's hard not to worry, when it involves your children. At this moment Larry is hanging out with Mikayla at the ER, waiting to be looked at. I'm at home with the boys. I am wishing I could be there, but at this moment, it's not possible, we didn't want to take all 3 kiddo's to the ER. Somedays it would be so nice to be at 2 places at once. I'm thankful that Larry was able to take her. I'm just sitting waiting for any word. Not exactly my idea of fun.
Well, I will keep you all posted. I'm sure everything will be fine. Poor Mikayla wasn't all that enthused about visiting the Doctors. She is a little nervous about Doctors, Dentists, ect..
Thanks for reading my blog. God is so good to me, to have friends like you. I am blessed
Thought of the day. "Just do it"
Kozlofhenhoff
I'm still not feeling very well and Larry's cold is a lot worse then mine. I gave him a hard time last night. I find that whenever I'm sick, he's worse off. Therefore, I can't complain ;)
The other day I talked about "worry" and how it's silly to worry. However this morning Mikayla woke up and showed us something on the back of her neck that woke her up. I called the Dr to see what we should do. They suggested bringing her in to the ER. I'm sure it's just a little infection, but it's hard not to worry, when it involves your children. At this moment Larry is hanging out with Mikayla at the ER, waiting to be looked at. I'm at home with the boys. I am wishing I could be there, but at this moment, it's not possible, we didn't want to take all 3 kiddo's to the ER. Somedays it would be so nice to be at 2 places at once. I'm thankful that Larry was able to take her. I'm just sitting waiting for any word. Not exactly my idea of fun.
Well, I will keep you all posted. I'm sure everything will be fine. Poor Mikayla wasn't all that enthused about visiting the Doctors. She is a little nervous about Doctors, Dentists, ect..
Thanks for reading my blog. God is so good to me, to have friends like you. I am blessed
Thought of the day. "Just do it"
Kozlofhenhoff
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