UP

Hi World,

Feeling better today. Wow what an off day I had yesterday. It was a very emotional ride. However, today is a new day.

I weighed myself today and was up again. I however am not discouraged because I do know that I had a late "pot luck" dinner, so that could be a part of it.

I however had a 30 minute walk, which was to be by myself, however my daughter asked if she could join me, and how could I say "no" when it seems like the two of us don't have many "mother daughter" moments, since my 4 month old entered the World. It was a wonderful moment for me. She is such a bright little girl, I have such admiration for my daughter. She loves EVERYONE, has such an amazing spirit and heart.

Mikayla wanted me to put on my blog that yesterday she had a "play date" after school with her miracle pal Morgan. Morgan is such a beautiful, wonderful girl who is an absolute Miracle. Her Mom just loves that Mikayla is sincerely Morgan's friend. I just love these girls friendship, and pray that Mikayla will ALWAYS be there for Morgan. Morgan and her Mom made this a "special" day for Mikayla. They made Kraft Dinner and Chicken nuggets for her. It was a special time for two special girls.

Today until Monday is going to be a busy time for the Kozlof's. We are having youth over for a special evening, then tomorrow my Parents and sister are arriving to help celebrate Prestons Dedication on Sunday. Saturday morning Larry and the teens are doing a car wash, to help support our teens that are heading to convention!!!

I am signing off to try and get some work done. My thought of the day was on my Mom's Facebook Status this morning

Thought of the day : "There is no such thing as a bad day-only bad moments in a good day"

Kozlofhenhoff

Yummy Snack Idea

Hey all. I just had a wonderful snack. I love Cottage cheese, grapes and some almonds. YUM!!! Pass it on..

Kozlofhenhoff

Emotions get the best of me

Hello World,

Today has been a very tearful day. I woke up and immediately knew that today wasn't going to be one of my more "happy days". Some days I find that no matter how hard you try to be cheerful, you just can't always be. I've learned that YES we must have joy. Wasn't that one of my "thoughts of the day"? However, today I just can't seem to find it. I know this isn't as "perky" as my other blogs. I am actually understanding that a few days ago I wrote that I feel like my depression is "lifting". Which I still speak to that, but isn't it ironic that as soon as I spoke that to my blogger friends.. BOOM, my feelings were hurt, and I just seem to be a "tiny" rut since then. I am sorry if this seems so "gloomy" but blogging is a great way to "release" what's going on inside.

I too was up 1lb today, but I'm not discouraged, it was bound to happen. I will continue to drink my water, eat as well as I can and walk. I'm actually going for a walk. BY MYSELF- no children or hubby ;) tonight. We are heading to our small group for a pot luck.. (must watch myself there) and I'm feeding Preston then heading there by foot, while my AMAZING (have I bragged on him lately?) husband is going to head there by car with food and kiddo's. I'm looking forward to it!! It's about a 20-30 minute walk, just me and God. LOVE LOVE LOVE those times. It's about the same distance as my trek to Zellers. Hope it goes a little easier then last week. I'm convinced that it will.

I've tried to do some more garden work. As soon as I go outside Preston wakes up and wants to be entertained. I was almost irritated this morning that he wouldn't let me pull weeds. However, I snapped out of it quickly, when I realized this precious bundle just wanted to be cuddled. I need to take every moment with Preston as if it was our last. He's a gift from God that I treasure.

My hubby has an awesome Blog started. I hope you'll follow his blog too. I am really proud of the gift of writing that Larry has, so I'm wanting you to take a look at it. He's such an awesome guy. I do feel blessed to have him in my life. He's totally handling my tears today in such dignity and respect. He could totally fluff me off or tell me to "grow up" but he doesn't, he justs loves.

Thanks for your support, I totally Love this blogging thing.

Be blessed

Kozlofhenhoff (aka-Heidi)

Flower beds are taking over the World

My flower gardens are CRAZY. When we bought our beautiful home 2 years ago, we purchased it in the Winter. We had no idea what was under all the snow. Last year I paid a lady to come and help get my gardens under control, they looked fantastic. Now it's spring and all the darn annuals have peaked their way into my gardens and again the overwelming task is a head of me. I am not going to pay someone again, when it ends up looking the same come spring.

Today I'm going to try and work HARD on the garden. Hopefully Preston will work with me. I have no green thumb what so ever, so we'll have to wait and see what today brings.

I weighed myself this morning and I was down another .2 pounds. I am excited at my progress and know that I wouldn't be doing this without my father in heaven.

Last night I was HUNGRY and didn't know what I should do. So I ate fruit. I think that's amazing because normally I'd want chips or something salty.. I don't want to "toot" my horn, but I really am proud of myself. I am not getting a big head, because I know that I will have my up's and downs. I am just really motivated, and I don't remember feeling like this since before my wedding. That was when I was at my best. :)

To those that may be struggling. Keep going.. Make a tiny goals, like mine right now are 5lb increments and my first long term is to get under 200lbs. My Mom has given me a reward for my weight loss goal. Once I hit 199lbs, she is going to buy me an new outfit!!! How cool is that. I have a pretty amazing Mom! I think once I hit 175lbs, I have to check that out with my Mom again, Mom if you're reading try and post a comment on this if I'm right or wrong, she is going to pay for Larry and myself to take a week-end away. I can't WAIT to get there. See, I have short goals. Then long term goals too.

I find that doing steps and walking isn't a "chore" it's a fitness "holiday" to me. I enjoy this very much and it doesn't seem like "work" to me.

Thought of the day- "The Joy of the Lord Is Your Strength"

My 4 year old is so cute

Today was a weird day. I went to Baby Buddies, and then JUST after blogging that my depression was disappearing, I had a wave of it this afternoon. Not sure why? The sensation of anxiety is not a fun place to be. When this wave started, I began to do steps, 30 minutes to be exact. Then it subsided.

While doing my 30 minutes of steps, I was able to put Preston in his chair, and he looked at me and giggled. I felt like God had allowed him to be my "cheerleader". I just love my gifts from God. I am truly enjoying my Wii Fit. I am looking forward to my girlfriend coming home from Florida. She's my walking buddy. I can't wait to not have to walk by myself.

Anyways signing off, I don't have much to say this evening..

Kozlofenhoff

It's almost May and it's Snowing

Well my morning started off a little early with Preston. Then low and behold I look out my window and see snow. My heart sank, because just yesterday I was enjoying a wonderful walk in 20 degree weather with my hubby, Bennet and Preston, while Mikayla was in school. While on our 30 minute walk, Bennet looked up at me and said, "I LOVE SPRING". "Me too Bennet, Me too". As I awoke this morning, my head hurting a little, I pouted! I'm keeping B-boy home today, I know that he'll be devastated at the sight of snow and his play structure/sand area will be closed for the day, thus putting him in a downward spiral. I am taking him to my small group, "Baby buddies" and hopefully he'll have some friends to play with today.

Yesterday, Mikayla came home from school. One of her friends had told her that her Mom was fat. This, REALLY upset her. I was taken back for a moment. I really feel like the enemy wants me to feel "down" about myself. Mikayla then proceeded to say, "I gave her a dirty look" she didn't like that look. "Mom, I told her that you're beautiful". I gave Mikayla a hug and thanked her, but deep down was mortified. My poor girl. We told her that it's never nice to call people fat. Yes, I'm overweight, but that is why I want to take care of myself now, get healthy. My girl has a wonderful heart. I thank God everyday for her, even when she's acting like a 16 year old.

The good news is I'm down another .7lbs. Which is a total of 4lbs in 1 week. I'm very excited about this!! Eating healthy and working out has brought me out of a little depression and has given me a new "joy" that I can't describe. I really feel closer to God in this process, because I'm taking care of the "temple" of the Holy Spirit. I want to do this for my health and for my family. I want to share in this experience, hoping that if I can inspire just 1 other person to get healthy, that would be amazing!

There is a person in my life who has inspired me. I love it.. She has no idea how much she has impacted my life. I thank God for her. And pray a blessing over her life. I keep thinking.. IF she can do it.. So can I.

I hope that I will be in touch this evening to let you know how things are going. Thanks for reading and supporting me. I love you all

Thought of the day: You are beautifully and wonderfully made.

Kozlofhenhoff

Yesterday to the start of today

Great day yesterday. Good eating, amazing time of worship at church last night. My trip to church "both" times were without incident. Bennet after his melt down, with the help of his sister, went down to the car with no yelling or screaming. It was a wonderful day.

Mikayla, my little mother hen. She's a wonderful help. I don't think I could do Sunday mornings without her. If Preston needs a feed, she's helping me get Bennet ready. She's amazing and I love her to bits. Sometimes she thinks she's 16, but I love the challenge ;) My Mom says "she's you".

Today, I'm going to open up to you about our son Bennet. He's a beautiful little man, VERY bright, he can count to 100 and totally Loves numbers. His Kindergarten teacher has said he's very advanced for his age, thus making me very proud. Since Bennet was little I had noticed a few things. He didn't start really talking or formulating thoughts until he was 3 1/2, we thought that he was just a "shy" little guy, he took a VERY long time to potty train, he doesn't look at anyone in the eye, he sometimes seems like he's "ignoring" people, but can hear everything that is being said, he hates loud noises, and is OBSESSED with Thomas the train, not like a regular love of Thomas, he's OBSESSED, that is almost what he talks about constantly. He also does not handle "transition" at all. At first we didn't really think about his behaviour as being an issue. UNTIL he started school. Bennet, our sweet little man, was struggling with the new change. His teacher is AMAZING and we love her to bits, but she too saw this incredible little man struggling and we worked together on a few things.. Then Preston was born, and due to this "CHANGE" and "Winter" (Bennet HATES winter, to cold) He continued to struggle, if not was worse then September. Bennet doesn't "play" with kids, he plays by himself. He will play with his sister, and Jude- but they are his comfort level.. Back to Winter. Bennet LOVES (hope you don't mind my capitals, it's how I express the word) sand and the sandbox- the "play structure" was closed for winter and this totally disappointed our wee man, and made him very unhappy. At recess time he would make his teachers life interesting and would fight about getting ready for outside time. His teacher ended up calling us and we made a plan to pick him up for lunch recess (because he would end up walking in circles on the pavement anyways, by himself) and have lunch with him and then take him back, this made life so much easier for him and his teacher. I hope this is making sense. My point to all of this is, that we are trying to get him assesed, but had hit a road block, I contacted our Health unit and they are helping me start the process of a refferal. I spoke to the one lady today, who reviewed Bennets Questionnaires, and she does feel that his social development does need to be "assessed" which is not a huge surprise to us. No matter what the end result of this process, Bennet is Bennet and we will not use this as an excuse to poor behaviour, we just want to know if somethings up. I am asking for your prayers as we continue this process. Asking for guidance for Larry and myself. Asking that my doctor will have an open mind. When I first approached her about Bennet, she laughed and said "he's just a boy" and I was shocked and said NOTHING. That's why I went through the "health unit" as they will be my liaison.

I was down .7lbs today.. Hey that's better then being up.

Thanks for your prayers. I appreciate you all

Kozlofenhoff

Good Morning

Hello to everyone. I weighed myself today and am down 1.8lbs.. Whoo hoo. I have done my 30 minutes of steps and am wanting to do some walking with the kiddo's today. It's beautiful outside today. Breakfast was a yummy 100% whole wheat english muffin with tomato and a slice of cheese and Banana. I'm needing to get more water intake. I honestly feel fantastic today. I feel bubbly, even with a crying 4 year old.

It's Sunday morning.. We're heading out to church soon. Bennet is already having his Sunday morning melt down. It never fails. Sunday mornings I feel like a crazy women . Larry heads to work at 9:00 and I get the kiddo's ready for church. Once 1030 hits I'm glad to be at church in 1 piece. I am trying to change up Sunday mornings, because the kiddo's can sometimes see a side of me that I hate. Then I walk into church with all smiles on, "Hi how are you?" "Wonderful" (Ya right, I just screamed at my kiddo's to hurry the heck up) I don't want to be a "fake" in the eyes of my babes. Today I'm letting Bennet have his cry and then I will "gently" help him get ready and Go. He's funny because I think he's expecting a reaction out of me.

Well I will probably write later on. I lead worship this evening, a passion of mine. Kind of nervous, since I haven't done this in a while. Remind me to post about how my weight affects me during worship. I just don't have the time now.

Signing off. Have a BLESSED Sunday.. I'm sure we will too

Kozlofenhoff

Birthday Party

Well Today has been a pretty good day. I was up 1/2 pound, which I'm not discouraged, happy it wasn't a full pound. I had a banana for breakfast, I know that it's not much, but I'm not a breakfast girl. Then for lunch a wonderful salad with some almonds in it and dinner I made a healthy chili. I am very proud to say that Bennet was invited to a classmates birthday party. (His first one besides our Senior Pastors son) It was soooo nice to have HIM invited. It was a swimming party. So I decided to not worry about what I may possibly look like in a swimsuit, and I had a FANTASTIC time of swimming with Bennet boy. It was a great moment to have with him. Mikayla has been in swimming lessons for the past week and a bit with her school, and she put her life jacket on and swam all by herself. Preston stayed with Daddy and watched the kiddo's swim.. It was a great "ACTIVE" afternoon. Then there was cake. I didn't even want any.. It was really exciting. I just had a few veggie sticks. I was and am PROUD of myself.

Here's the kicker.. DQ is STILL calling my name. I'm trying to think about the "3 bite" rule, but I'm a tad fearful that I may not S-T-O-P. I even went on their nutritional guide to see about Calories and was HORRIFIED! Still, the wonderful ice cream shop is calling the Kozlof's name. I guess I'll have to wait to see the end result. I guess I could go for an extra few "laps" around our Park's walkway, but I don't think for me that is the point.

On a totally different note: We are getting some organization done in our home. Our kitchen renos are "almost" complete and we finally picked up a new "computer desk" that shuts closed. I LOVE it!! The kid's toy room will now have TONS of space, since we're moving our computer. I look forward to the time when we do our flooring this summer. My Dad is going to come spend time with Larry this summer putting the floor down. While they're doing that, I'm getting the heck out of my house!!!

I'm off for now.. I'll keep you updated with my process

Kozlofenhoff

First Temptation

Media and it's pull. I've been doing well today, not too tempted to over eat. HOWEVER, we were out and about this afternoon when Low a behold an advertisement came on the radio. I know better then to listen, my English media class that I LOVED in high school taught me this. My ears couldn't seem to pull away from the Ad. Dairy Queen is having an anniversary. Buy 1 blizzard get the 2nd one for 25 cents. WHAT A DEAL!!!! Forget it Kozlof!!! You want to get healthy, you want to teach your children "good habits". Can't do this!!

So here I am typing my inner battle at this moment. I have decided NOT to go.. I am chewing a piece of gum and hoping that this desire to go to DQ will pass. I'm sure it will.

It's funny but I never thought I'd be "telling all" the struggles that are within, however I believe that THIS is the start of something BIG!!! I'm pumped and excited to take this journey. Let's just hope that DQ will stop calling my name.. DQ is the DEVIL!!! LOL.. Well maybe not the Devil, but in my case it is. And I've only been on this journey for 2 days. I can't imagine what Jesus went through on his 40 day fast and was tempted..

Signing off.. Not sure for how long.. But Baby Preston is awake and Screaming for me to get off the computer.

Thanks for reading

Kozlofenhoff

Great Day

So I'm back from a walk. I think I may have pushed myself a little harder then I should have. I decided that I would take Preston for a walk to Zellers, which is about 1km away from my home. Remember I had JUST done 30 minutes of steps. I started off strong, smelling the fresh air and spring flowers around. I thought I was doing GREAT!! I must have been 5 minutes into our walk, when I started to feel my legs cramp up. "I think I can" was chanting in my head, also "What was I thinking?" I kept going. I got to the point that I was 1/2 way there, and picked up my pace. I was sweating and could feel my heart pumping.. I was hoping that no one could see how HARD I was breathing. Sweat pouring down my face, I kept going.. I finally made it to Zellers. Thank GOD!!!

After getting a bag of diapers for Preston, I decided that I was NOT walking back and headed to Larry's church, just beside the mall. I knocked on the door and Larry looked at me in a strange way. I was never so relived to see him. I looked at my handsome man and said. "I pushed too hard". He gave me a smirk and asked if I'd like a ride home.

I'm so blessed to have Larry. He never made me feel dumb or stupid. He's my biggest fan, and I'm his. Our 8th year anniversary is coming up, and I feel sooooooooo blessed. He's amazing and I don't think I tell him enough. He handles my mood swings, my hormonal outbursts, and my craziness. No one could handle me like him. He's a great father, wonderful husband and fantastic man of God.

So there we go.. I'm feeling great today!!! I hope you are all feeling great too!!

Thought for the day..

Nothing is impossible.

Be blessed

Kozlofenhoff!!!

Day 1 1/2 to 2

So yesterday I think I did pretty good. Did have some cookies though :( I weighed myself this morning and I was down 21/2 pounds. Whoo-hoo!!

I've done 30 minutes of free step on the Wii fit and am heading out for a walk with my little guy. I truly feel good about this. I'm just hoping I don't get bored and "eat". I love to eat when I bored.

Well I'll probably be on again this afternoon. My little man is "screaming" for my attention.

Sign off for now.

Be blessed. I wonder if anyone is actually reading this??

Kozlofenhoff!!!

Wow!!

SO it's been way over a year since I first wrote. From my last post, you've probably figured out that I've had a baby!! We now have 3 beautiful children. God has been sooooooo Good. Blessings they are!!! Just a fast update!!!

Kozlofenhoff

Time for a change

I know I am a horrible blogger. I'm also horrible at being healthy. I am teaching my Three babies that it's okay to eat what ever they want. Well today I'm telling the whole world that TODAY I must change.

I'm a believer and I believe that at this point, I'm not being a good steward to my body. I want to be around for a very long time. But at a weight of 234 pounds. It's just not going to happen

So here I go.

Dear World,

I want to be a healthy eater. I want to change my ways. I'm starting with a few goals at hand. I would like to get under 200lbs within the next 21/2 to 3 months. My ultimate goal is to lose 74lbs. I know that I can do this. I want to drink more water, eat less and excersize at least 30 minutes a day. (This is going to be a huge task)

Today I shout out to everyone that I'm tossing the temptations out.. Locking the cookies (my hubby needs them in case of low blood sugars) AND showing my beautiful babies that life is too important. Lets get healthy!!! I think I will do a meal plan and STICK to it!!

I wish this would be an easy task. It scares me though. I've failed before.. However, I will not set myself up to lose. Nothing is impossible and I know this.

My prayer is that my "enablers" will not enable.. That I will have people cheering me on and supporting me.

My friend said to me today. Don't deny yourself. Have 3 bites only. B/c the 4th and 5th would taste the same anyways.. LOL I LOVE that!!!

I don't have Dr Phil to help me and I can't go on the Biggest Loser. I have a father in heaven and myself.

Here I go Day 1 on this journey.. Can I do it!! YES I CAN!!

Heidi Kozlof